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Gisele Bundchen, supermodel wife of Tom Brady, recently sent an email to family and close friends. Since there is no such thing as privacy, here’s her email.
“My sweet friends and family…”
I wish I had sweet friends. All mine are all lazy degenerates that still drink Natty Lights.
“This sunday will be a really important day in my husband’s life.”
They’re retiring his Uggs?
“He and his team worked so hard to get to this point and now they need us more than ever to send them positive energy so they can fulfill their dream of winning this super bowl…”
I too hope his dream comes true. It must be so unfulfilling to have only three championships, be considered one of the best players ever, be a billionaire, and have a supermodel wife with beautiful kids. On a side note, former quarterback Jim Kelly fulfilled his dream of winning the most tickets at a Buffalo area Chuck E. Cheese’s.
“I feel Tommy really needs our prayer, our support and love at this time.”
Forget Gronkowski’s ankle, Tommy needs the support of sweet friends to get him over the hump. Maybe if he had more positive energy from the Brazilian model community, he would have gotten drafted before the 6th round.
“So I kindly ask all of you to join me on this positive chain and pray for him, so he can feel confident, healthy and strong. Envision him happy and fulfilled experiencing with his team a victory this sunday.”
Gisele, I’m sorry to say that envisioning experiences doesn’t make it happen. I’ve envisioned his head being driven so hard into the ground that his facemask falls off and his dazed face is covered in mud, but that hasn’t come close to happening.
“Thank you for your love and support. Love, G 🙂 ”
For Gisele, her intentions seem admirable, but she should know one of her friends isn’t so sweet because they made a private email public so that jerks everywhere could pick it apart.
For her sweet friends, they should know they can now email Gisele for support when their spouses have stressful work weeks.
For the Giants, I hope there are some rich egomaniacs sending out equally positive vibes so Sunday doesn’t turn into one of those Super Bowl blowouts.